Saying No to Being a Bridesmaid When You're Depressed

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We all come to that point in our life when our friends are getting married. It seems once one gets engaged, we find ourselves on the constant merry go round of wedding festivities that never end.

You can start racking up the expenses and watch your savings account deplete before the wedding has even begun!

Although it's the happiest moment for the married couple to be, it's not always the same for the circle of friends and family around them. Depending on your current situation; If you suffer from depression, anxiety or have experienced loss, participating at the full extent may not be the best choice for your mental health.

Ask yourself:

  1. Is it feasible financially & geographically?

  2. Have I started a new job and am unable to take time off?

  3. Have I outgrown this friendship? Can I still relate to this person? Are we both in different places? How has the relationship changed?

  4. Will this stir up emotions and memories of what could have been with a lost loved one?

  5. Will I grieve over the father-daughter dance that I will never have?

  6. Am I a caregiver and unable to leave them?

These are moments that are meant to be celebrated, but can easily trigger someone who has experienced loss or someone who is going through an illness.

You have to think of your own health and mental well-being. It's okay to say NO. Don't give into what you think you "should" do or what people expect you to do. Don't allow others to guilt trip you. If they are a true friend, they will understand. 

Don’t feel selfish for saying no when in your heart of hearts, you may not make it through the wedding. It wouldn't be fair to the married couple to be, and it wouldn't be fair to you. 

However, here are some ways you can support your friends wedding even if you are unable to attend:

  1. Helping with RSVP’s and making calls.

  2. Offering to address invitations, place cards or seating assignments.

  3. Putting together a memory book for the bride and groom. It could be of the family members or the journey that brought the couple to this day.

  4. Offering transportation for out of town guests, family or even gifts.

  5. Finally, loaning them something meaningful on their wedding day. A family pin, piece of jewelry or something borrowed that has sentimental value.

Get creative! There are plenty of ways for you to still be there in spirit.